I hurt myself today. As of right now, I can feel my reality slipping away. I can feel my consciousness evaporating into the atmosphere. Slowly. I’m losing my mind. It’s getting dark. So very dark. And cold. The mist is thickening and I’m trapped in the cemetery. She won’t stop staring at me. The ghost of the girl I once was.
I hate her.
“I hurt myself today. To see if I still feel. I focus on the pain. The only thing that’s real.”
Oh my Jess hang on. It’s funny how before I “met” people from this community, I read the posts with intrigue. Now I find myself so worried about you and always hoping a new post will be one which speaks of the ups rather than the downs. I’m waiting for you. xoxo
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I’m hanging on. Thanks for caring.
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I posted this on your other post… But I’ll put it here too…
Been thinking about you all day… Wish I could offer you my shoulder to cry on – bundle you up in a little blankie, make you a yummy hot chocolate (with marshmallows), and watch silly, funny movies together.
You’re wonderful, and your beautiful heart is evident in the pain you feel right now xoxoxox
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Pdoc says PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program) is best for me. It’s a form of intensive outpatient care but it’s all day M-F. I don’t have to stay overnight but they need to monitor me during the day so I’m not alone. Been having thoughts of hurting myself. Cut my wrist last night. Been rapid cycling/mixed agitation and depression. Going on disability leave from work to rest.
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❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💋💋💋💋💋
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Oh Lola. “Can you feel the love tonight?” Because I sure can. Thank you so much for your support. 😀
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I really relate to this, thank you for posting at such a difficult time for you, I hope you will make it through, I know the pain all too well. Lots of hugs for you Jess xxxx
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I appreciate you reading my posts and commenting. Lots of hugs back.
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Love your blog Jess, hope today is a little better for you – lots of love xxxx
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Keep going Jess. You know we love you 😊
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Jess. What can be said? But I had to let you know I heard you. Tear rolling down my cheek.
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Being evaluated by mental health facility for intensive outpatient care
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This is a powerful song, especially within the mental health community. No matter how much the “hurt” is, keep on fighting! Take care.
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Vic. Thanks for the encouragement. I’m going to rest.
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Look at these amazing comments of support – people care about you, myself included! I wrote back to you on my blog, just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you and I hope you update us soon about your evaluation etc. XOXOXO
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See comment under Lola. Sorry. Too tired to give a good response
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OMG – I get it. I’m so beyond fucking wiped out right now, although I know you’re going through sheer hell and I don’t mean to dump on you – I bring that up just because please, never, ever feel like you have to reply to anything I write in a good way!!!!! I take what I can get, girlfriend! 😉
btw- just retweeted your latest post. I’m lazy with retweets as you know, especially over the past few weeks as I was pondering about de-twittering altogether – anyway, I often just RT posts &I don’t do nice intros but hopefully I can change my wicked ways!!!! take care, sweetie, and I’ll be thinking of you too!
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Thank you everyone for your support. Means the world to me. Going to try and rest. My evaluation is above.
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Thank you Seb. I can feel it.
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Brilliant song…but so hard to listen to. 😦
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Thanks for song. It’s so great.
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