Who The F*** Is Jess Melancholia?: Early Childhood

Ready. Set. Sail!

Alright everyone gather round. I’m here to tell you the story of my life starting with my childhood (duh!).

So, the earliest memory that is most relevant to my story is one that my husband suggested I include and I think it makes a great starting point: the day we first met.

Now, I’ve mentioned this before but my husband and I have been together for about 11.5 years! I’m 28 years old yesterday so that means we were highschool sweethearts! Yes it can happen. No I have ABSOLUTELY no regrets about that.

Well, the thing is, we actually met each other for the first time in first grade! The both of us had just recently enrolled in a private Orthodox Presbyterian K-12 school where I spent the entirety of my education. Unfortunately, it’s not the charming meeting you would expect from two people who vowed to spend the rest of their lives together.

Allegedly, I was minding my own business, having fun on the playground and having a normal happy childhood, when in walks this little shit. Let’s call him Buttface for the remainder of this post. Buttface proceeds to make his way over to where I was playing and having a good time to have a chat. According to him, he didn’t like me because I was either too loud or talking shit . As the overwhelming anger reached a boiling point in this cocky 6-year-old’s brain , Buttface decided that he didn’t like my pony tails sticking out of my head in the directions they pointed. So he carefully concluded that the most logical course of action was to push 5-year-old me down onto the ground and run away; leaving me crying and scared and confused.

I for one don’t remember this event. Probably because it was so mentally scarring that I blocked it out. Now we are going on 4.5 years of marriage and he hasn’t abused me since.

So yeah. I guess that’s how my life began. On the playground à la Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison. Little did I know, the next 23 years would be a rollercoaster of a life.

I’ll leave it at that for now. Let it simmer and I’ll continue onward tomorrow.

12 thoughts on “Who The F*** Is Jess Melancholia?: Early Childhood

  1. I’m so glad Buttface reigned in his abusive behaviour when he turned 7 lol This was way too cute. I’m glad thus far othi g too tragic is happening. I’m in suspense though!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I find it so sweet that you married your high school sweetheart and have no regrets about it. When did Buttface (sorry, I know he’ll probably read this and cringe) remind you of this traumatic incident?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He reminded of it not more than around a few months ago. My mom gave me an old picture of us in 2nd grade that she found and he mentioned the story. We all had a good laugh. I honestly don’t remember but it’s definitely the cutest thing in my mind.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s