My Journey Through Purgatory: Leaving The Cemetery

Posted on by Jess Melancholia

Ready. Set. Sail!

Hello everyone I have some exciting news: I finally get discharged from the hospital on Friday!!! I’m super excited because I’ve been eager to get back to work. If it wasn’t for my new psychiatrist’s second opinion, this would’ve taken A LOT longer.

For those of you who don’t know, I went under a partial hospitalization program at my local mental health facility. This was due to ongoing issues with extreme levels of stress and anxiety from my job coupled with my close friend whose dad had just recently passed. On top of that, my medications were being piled on top of me from my previous psychiatrist which caused me to have awful chest pains, heart palpitations, and “skin-crawling” sensations. I was in a terrible mixed state and really wasn’t able to function so my husband, along with my therapist and psychiatrist, decided to have me undergo this program and get a second opinion on my meds. Over time, the pain and anxiety slowly died and I’ve been about a week and a half symptom free!:-D

Fortunately, all those symptoms are under control. It’s odd. I feel happy but not hyper and content but not bored. I’ve forgotten how good this “stability” feels. I hope it’s not hypomania because I have been a little bit energetic as of late. Oh well. We’ll just have to wait and see. Lowering my antidepressants and mood stabilizers while adding Latuda seemed to have fixed the issue.

If you’re curious as to where I am, it’s basically as if the mist has slowly lifted and I can look over and see the Trail of Stability again. While the girl named Rei is still trapped in this cemetery, it looks like the darkness has lifted and I am free to leave now.

Slowly, I lift myself off of the cold hard grass. While I carefully collect my thoughts, the girl lifts her head up to catch my eye.  Sullen and weak, she looks carefully at me and, with a gentle curl of her mouth, she gives me a brief warm smile and a nod before laying her head back down to hang.

I leave her to rest and continue on my journey.

 

25 thoughts on “My Journey Through Purgatory: Leaving The Cemetery”

  3. This made me tear up. I am so emotional! But I am SO glad to hear all of this. Now I am smiling. I am so Bipolar lately. ha.

    You should be so proud of yourself for all of the tough decisions and for grabbing these reins and for fighting for yourself and for knowing what you needed and navigating these seas. You’re going to make it Jess. Over and over you will make it. I just know it.

    and dang girl this “I feel happy but not hyper and content but not bored.”

    yep that is it in 11 words.

    oh and isn’t it the most bestest thing ever when your skin ISN’T crawling.

    ah the sweet life

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. You inspired me to fight for my life and not settle for bored and over medicated. I can’t thank you enough for being there to help me through it. Can’t say you didn’t have a major hand in my recovery. Love you my dear😉

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

    1. Thank you Stephanie. Feels absolutely amazing to have a genuine smile on my face. My thoughts and hopes go out to you as well. You’re tough shit and you’ll be back on the upswing again before you know it. Not even a senseless rude therapist can stop you.😉

      Liked by 1 person

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