The Brutal Stigma Of Bipolar Hypersexuality: An Idiotic Comment

Posted on by Jess Melancholia

Ready. Set. Sail!

I’m done. Stigma against hypersexuality needs to end and it needs to end now. I’m so sick and tired of people blasting a topic they have no idea about! No God damn fucking clue!

I don’t care if I’m being hypersensitive again. This isn’t the first time and it won’t be the last time I stand up for my beliefs. Stand up against stigma. The chainsaw is in my hand as we speak and it’s revving up!!! I said don’t fuck with me! This is a comment from “Reality Bites” about this person’s expert diagnosis of manic-induced sex addiction (aka hypersexuality). This is stigma at it’s finest:

“That is what the rest of the world calls a “Mid Life Crisis”. Give it whatever name you want, or rationalize it however you want, but it was what all women go through at around that point in life. The truth is most of them are able to control it and stay loyal to their spouses: you didn’t.”

…

….

…..

…fucking excuse me?!?!

ARGH!!!!! IS NO ONE FUCKING LISTENING TO ME??!?!?!

JESUS FUCKING GOD ALMIGHTY!!!!

It’s so insulting I don’t even know where to begin. Like God what? There is no way this person is for real. Who goes on a website (my personal fav for BD) called Bipolar Hope and TROLLS!?!?!?

Second. Mid-life crisis generally refers to when you are slightly older than 28 am I correct?

Third:

“The truth is most of them are able to control it and stay loyal to their spouses”

Good for fucking them. Give them a Goddamn Medal of Honor and a fucking parade. You’re one of the “good” spouses. You aren’t tainted by being labeled an ADULTERESS!

You think I like that word?! You think I like to parade it around and tell people “Look what I did!”??

MY fucking scarlet letter is branded on my heart. It’s a scar I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life. I can’t undo what I did. No I’m not fucking proud of it! If you think I am because I’m no longer ashamed of it then GO FUCK YOURSELF! You obviously don’t listen to me at all.

People have responded to this trash but no reply from Reality Bites. Classic troll. Don’t people understand that saying something like that is psychologically damaging? It made ME tear up for half a second. ME! The unofficial spokeswoman on this topic I’ve beaten to death like the poor dead horse it is. Even my husband was disgusted! Side note: If anyone deserves a medal it’s him (Love you honey ;-)!).

Yes I’m still hypersexual. No I’ve been a good little housewife and have stayed out of trouble. I’ve luckily been able to control myself and use my sexual energy in other healthy moral ways. Thanks to those who have been checking on me and asking me how I’m doing. You know who you are and I can’t tell you how immensely grateful I am for your support.

But this is me. The bipolar me. I can not and WILL NOT display a cookie cutter version of myself so that everyone can smile and take pictures and say, “Mommy! Mommy! Look at the bipolar! Isn’t she weird?!’

“No honey don’t stare at her for too long you’ll catch her disorder. You wouldn’t want that now would you?”

“Oh ma’am you’re so wrong. They are cute and all but they’re just making it up for attention. Let’s throw stones and laugh and pity them. Our lives are great from up here on our high horses that haven’t been beaten to death.”

“I agree. They are such pitiful sad creatures. They obviously don’t try hard enough to control themselves. They are what’s wrong with society.”

….yeah I’m fuming.

But wait! There’s more!

Check out these two comments from this asswipe named “Hugo Koch” (classy dude -__-):

“Karen, I want to fuck you with my cawk so bad.”

“Karen I want to stuff your muffin with my man sausage. Come on baby, you know you want it ….”

Nuf’ said.

I won’t bother explaining how difficult this symptom is because you know the story now. For those of you who are new, click on “Hypersexuality” in my Categories section and educate yourself.

I just can’t even right now.

46 thoughts on “The Brutal Stigma Of Bipolar Hypersexuality: An Idiotic Comment”

  1. Girl, I’ll write more later here, as I have to rush off and pick up the girls @ school,
    but you know this person has no brain.

    This person is a TOTAL ignorant fool!
    You got triggered!!!!
    I would get mega-trrigered too!!!!
    And PLEASE know that YOU ARE RIGHT when it comes to this topic (and so many others, hell yeah!)
    and this SHIT FOR BRAINS needs to get a HEAD ENEMA STAT!

    LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!
    YOU ARE RIGHT – DON’T FORGET IT!
    THERE ARE A LOT OF DUMB FUCKS OUT THERE
    AND I’M ABOUT TO ENCOUNTER A LOT OF THEM AT MY KIDS’ ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PARKING LOT. :000000
    PRAY FOR ME – EVEN IF YOU AREN’T RELIGIOUS. I HAVE BAD ROAD/PARKING LOT RAGE! 😉

    XOXOXOXOOXOXOOXXOOX
    DYANE

    Liked by 4 people

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  2. p.s. the woman who wrote that BP article (which I haven’t read yet) lives in my fucking town! Sara Solovitch.
    She was the editor of a Bay Area Parent magazine, I believe, and she has written a bunch of bp articles for BP – her new book was published last year about her stage fright and playing her piano, but she must have bipolar disorder……..I’m very curious to read what she wrote about hypersexuaity.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. That’s amazing! I’d love to write for bphope.com. That article saved me when I read it months ago. Had no idea what was wrong with me until I read that. Now I know. If you see her, say she made such a tremendous impact and practically saved my marriage.

      Liked by 2 people

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      1. sorry for the typos in the other comment. I bet they have no idea about that offensive comment, I think we should bring it to their attention .I know who we could contact . Let’s direct message about it later on. another comment I meant to ask you if you thought that Sarah did a good job on that article if you couldn’t tell!

        Liked by 2 people

  3. hey you I’m actually in the carpool right line right now using my new smartphone that I’m not used to yet and i am just talking to it. This is so crazy to be able to leave a comment like this! I don’t believe in organized religion and guess I am agnostic. anyway I’m curious if you thought that thereof did a good job with that article. Also I have the emailaddress for the publisher of BP magazine, and if you want me to I can direct message it to you. She would pass your email on to her editor Elizabeth Forbes most likely. I don’t have her email, but at one point I was corresponding with Joanne about writing for the magazine. I shared some ideas and she didn’t like any of them.you would do an absolutely fantastic job for them they need a writer like you who’s passionate and knows what the s*** she’s talking about clamation point

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. Hypersexuality, nymphomania, whatever you wanna call it, it’s a real thing, and it comes with my mania too. Girrrllll I could tell you stories that would curl your hair! I can’t believe some of the things that I’ve done when manic. But I did. A LOT. And I live with it. It’s one of the things that reminds me that mania is not desireable. Being well is desireable, but not mania. I have to make the distinction for myself. But I feel you. I could go into a shame spiral if I let myself. But I won’t. It’s in the past and I’m leaving it there 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

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  7. One of the biggest problems with everything in the world is that people think they know what they are talking about and they talk ALL about it and they have no clue

    and it hurts people over and over

    That comment is just stupid

    I can’t think of another way to describe it

    oh i can

    ignorant

    .

    You need to be proud of yourself

    super proud

    You have bought attention to this issue

    an issue that is SO misunderstood

    the hottest hot button issue in Bipolar (ha)

    I think hyper sexuality is the most judged of all of the Bipolar business

    I read an article about how therapists can’t even deal with it

    You have opened my eyes to it more than they were before and you have made me feel better about um some things….

    and I am CERTAIN you have helped a lot of people by putting it out there (again! crap. ha)

    Thank you for being so brave

    Thank you for being so cool

    and Jess

    fuck that shit

    Liked by 5 people

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    1. I’m absolutely shocked that I’m the one who opened your eyes to it. That shouldn’t be the case. I’d shout this from the rooftops if I could. I really would. I’m trying to get my voice out there. So much. I really am. People need to not just hear what I have to say but the topic itself isn’t discussed honestly. It needs to be!
      I’m glad you think I’m cool. I’m such a nerd that when I direct messaged you I forgot how to spell crisis because of the video game Crysis…
      ….tangent…..YOU ARE THE BEST CLAYA. SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!

      Liked by 4 people

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      1. Aw. You are the best!!!!!

        Dude why shouldn’t that be the case? We all have different Bipolar. This is an area that you….um….EXCEL at.

        I completely agree with you…it needs to be out there and it needs to be discussed honestly.

        Your story is inspiring. Keep telling it.

        Liked by 2 people

  8. Hey, Jess, I saw your post on Dyane’s twitter feed; the photo caught my eye because it’s the same one (or very similar) to one I used on a blog post! Anyway, I’m bipolar, too, and although I don’t have symptoms of hypersexuality (to my knowledge), I had read about it.

    My first (unpublished and unpublishable) novel was partially about a teen girl who has hypersexual behavior during her manic episodes and how judged she is by those around her at her Christian school and church; it puts her at risk with older guys, leading to a bunch of disastrous consequences. Only those who are her true friends accept her, even as she struggles; she does come to a measure of peace with herself eventually. I’m amazed at how many people think they know about bipolar disorder and yet don’t know about this as a symptom! And it’s truly heart-wrenching that people are so judgmental.

    Liked by 4 people

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    1. Hello Laura. Nice to meet you. I’m sorry that your novel didn’t get published. I think it’s a shame. A story like that would be SO helpful for so many teens going through this right now. I actually grew up in a Christian school and church and struggled with some aspects of hypersexuality as well despite not knowing what to call it.

      I’m so glad you commented thank you. It IS stupid how arrogant and judgemental people can be!! Hence my profane-ridden rant.

      Liked by 1 person

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  9. Idiocy, above all, annoys the fucking SHIT out of me! Why don’t people who don’t know just shut the fuck up?

    Jess, I think you are amazing. So fucking brave to speak out about it, because stigma around WOMEN being hypersexual is fucking rampant. I am SO pissed off with that WANK STAIN, I could spit blood!

    Vic is right – some village is missing their idiot.

    FUCK!

    Liked by 3 people

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    1. This comment is perfect. Absolutely amazing. I find that they said women as well. Not people in general. As if men wouldn’t have the same problem? The fuck is that about? It’s hard enough being a woman without this shit thrown back in our faces!

      Liked by 1 person

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  10. …People leave comments like that and WE’RE the ones with a mental illness! Yeah. Right. They are worthy of only one reply: “Seek the help you so desperately need”. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

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      1. Maybe what we need to learn – to really get – is that there are a lot of sick people out there who ‘pass’ as ‘normal’. I won’t say their behavior isn’t noted or talked about, or that they’re not called weird or eccentric. But they don’t seek out help, and therefore never officially receive the stamp of crazy. I mean – look at the characters portrayed on tv and film. How many are really ‘normal’? Most exhibit some extreme behavior or another, yet that’s never addressed. Frankly – and here’s an idea for you because I think you might be good at it – someone should take clips from popular shows and films and then insert pop ups on the screen that point out the types of ‘crazy’ behavior exhibited. For instance, in The Hunger Games when your main character has flash backs, a pop up should say “PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder”. Then pause the screen and give a short paragraph about PTSD. Do that with all the popular stuff. Put it up on YouTube. Educate those nimrods!

        Liked by 1 person

  11. I had some hypersexual issues during my first marriage, but I was only diagnosed as depressed so all they gave me were anti depressants…That’s just bringing on one long manic episode in itself.
    What I learned is I CAN’T control it, it sweeps over like a tornado. Nothing to do with a mid life crisis, being a good or bad person, an adulteress, blah blah blah.
    The ONLY thing I can do is self isolate when I am in that space where my judgment could be so altered I’d make such choices again. Never been unfaithful in a relationship again simply by knowing when I’m in the danger zone and avoiding situations that could go awry.
    Controlling it? Hardly. It’s called adapting to your illness.

    i share your rage and pass no judgments. People, especially net trolls, are vile creatures.

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Sweeps over like a tornado is so true. It does. To me I can to an extent but I’m like hypnotized or something so pushing back at some point becomes impossible. Isolation would drive me insane but I actually have been doing that lately. Got invited to a really close friends birthday party a couple weeks ago and refused to go because it’s one of those house parties where people fuck in the parent’s bed kind of thing. WAY too tempting for me to hook up with some random dude. So I stayed home and been staying home.

      I really like adapting to your illness. I really really do. That’s the perfect way of putting it. It’s not control. I’ll have to use that language in the future if you don’t mind because that’s exactly what it is.

      Thanks Morgue. I’m so glad to find people who get this and know the struggles. Fuck those trolls in the eyes with sharpened sporks! They deserve it!

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  12. I’ve been riveted to your article and the comments. Not surprisingly you nailed your post and got your message across loud and clear. And despite your rage and your rant, you write so professionally (minus a few ‘fucks’ here and there). And I can’t help it, I snort and giggle when I read you because I’m imagining the moron at the other end reading your words. The moral high ground is steep and rock hard. I suspect a few body parts were broken when Troll fell from it after your lashes.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Fucks are TOTALLY professional ;-). Kidding. I can write well enough without them but not when I’m enraged. Just fits better. Ha. I’m actually worse than a sailor but I tone it down here. I’m glad you liked the post and it spoke to you. Trolls will not stand in my mind. They will have their heads thoroughly sliced off by my chainsaw. That’s a promise!

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  14. I got labelled as hypersexual before I even got a Bipolar diagnosis, I guess I was just a straight out slut then… I hate seeing things like that, all the injustice but the way I see it here it’s because your female also. Other men can justify if it’s a guy that sleeps with and hurts a lot of women, fuck they can even justify a guy that cheats on their wife. She mustn’t have been putting out, she must of been a bitch to him. Female that cheats, what a bitch she had no other reason other then she wanted to go out of her way to hurt someone. It’s not entirely stigma it’s also double standard in there too.

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  15. I don’t think you are being sensitive at all, and I hope you are feeling a bit better, and you are right stigma needs to end. I am greatful that the one symptom I don’t have is hypersexuality. I have seen it ruin marriages, and saying you need to stop it is liking telling someone that they need to stop breathing

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  16. Jess, don’t let these mindless idiot trolls get to you. That is their goal. Bet most of them will claim to be religious to the high heavens and think EVERYBODY should be just like them. These people have no tolerance for anyone who does not share their beliefs or their religion. Just brush it off and never respond to any of them.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. I think because I’m still really new to the Internet that I find this kind of stuff so outrageous. To me it’s just upsetting that people can be so cruel. Especially on a blog meant to help people with a specific illness. You are right but it’s also something that I just don’t see myself just letting go of. Maybe I’ll have to learn the hard way but dammit I’m not going down without a fight!

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  17. I’m sorry, this is horrible treatment by any standard of decency. We need grace and forgiveness the same as everybody else. “Clowns to the left” want to crack a joke about something that’s deadly serious and they’re just not at all funny. “Jokers to the right” want to judge and execute Fucking idiots. And “here I am, stuck in the middle with you.” If I weren’t deathly afraid of 1) what I might bring home, 2) dying, or 3) losing Mrs. M., I’d act on these urges in a heartbeat. I STILL have a problem with my eyes, just so far I haven’t been with anyone else. Yet. But for the grace of God I’d be worse than I already am. I bet the trolls to the right are in church every Sunday, not listening to Jesus in Matthew 9:13, or, very appropriately to the situation, Hosea 6:6 that Jesus was preaching from. Or maybe they’re too busy living out Isaiah 65:1-5, oblivious to the judgement coming to them in verses 6-15 and the penitent’s (our) acceptance by God in verses 16-25

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    1. This is the most thorough and well thought out biblical response I’ve ever gotten. The only one I could remember was Matthew 9:13 because I suck as an exbeliever. The rest I had to look up. Damn. You hit the nail on the head with the left and right. People are so quick to judge and often God calls to the people who DIDN’T ask for Him. Those whom Jesus reveals Himself to usually take Him straight out of context. The smugness of mankind astounds me.

      Yeah, I need to keep those same 3 reasons in perspective the next time this jolly old symptom rears its ugly head. I’m right there with you! It’s not worth it but at the same time don’t cast any stones until you’ve had a chance to live in my shoes.

      Thanks so much for the comment. I miss hearing your opinions. They are always so well thought out. 🙂

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      1. My frustration with the judgemental “right” goes beyond even what you said. Jesus knows the smug ass holes who claim he’s revealed himself to them are “blind guides” (Matthew 23). Matthew 23 exposes their sin and ignorance, and also their tactic of making it hard for people to come to Jesus when it’s supposed to be easy (verses 3-5 and also 13-15). He isn’t calling them. He’s calling to us SINNERS, because we listen and strive to understand and follow Him. They think they’re healthy, therefore they don’t need Jesus. We who know our sickness, (sinfulness, if you will) know we desperately need Him. (Luke 5:8-32) He’s leaving those blind guides behind in his dust, (Matthew 3:1-12) and taking those of us who need Him and love Him.

        And to you, Blessings!~DM

        Liked by 1 person

      2. These hypocrites unfortunately infest the modern church just as they did in the New Testament temples and even the Christian churches back then. They’ve heard it their way for so long they don’t hear it any more- They’re more than wretched and blind, they’re deaf too, not realizing they are deaf. (http://biblehub.com/revelation/3-17.htm) I bet it breaks God’s heart. Mine’s a little bit hard to them pretty often.

        Liked by 1 person

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  19. This is to Jess. I truly appreciate your open and incredibly honest tale of bipolar hyper sexuality!! I have a tale not unlike your own, except that it goes back into the 1960s( long before the internet). Mine includes compulsive masturbation, repeatedly coming on to female acquaintances during my first marriage and three affairs before the ultimate dissolution of that marriage. Long story short; my sexual obsession continued for decades until my final diagnosis of bipolar ll at the tender age of 81. Age, plus lamictal and budeprion seem to help me get a handle on this lifelong problem. Finally, Jess, it’s stories like your’s that help me put this life long issue(piece of the bipolar life )into some sort of perspective. Thanks.

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