Please Send Prayers And Blessings

Ready. Set. Sail!

Please help me. Pray for me. Send blessings or good vibes. I’m really struggling bad. My Depression is so severe right now I can barely move. I can’t work and I can hardly take care of myself. I don’t care at this point. If God listens to you, or whatever deity you worship, please tell him/her that I need help. Please. Please help me. Because I’m weak and I can’t stop crying.

I hate bipolar.

45 thoughts on “Please Send Prayers And Blessings

  1. praying. Psalm 44:
    23 Awake, Lord! Why do you sleep?
    Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever.
    24 Why do you hide your face
    and forget our misery and oppression?
    25 We are brought down to the dust;
    our bodies cling to the ground.
    26 Rise up and help us;
    rescue us because of your unfailing love.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Thinking of you honey.

    Please……….don’t hesitate to tell your husband you need to get to the hospital.
    I know that’s the last thing you want to do, I do!!!! But I’ve done it when I’ve felt the way you describe and I got back on my feet that way.
    You need & deserve powerful help. If someone had a compound fracture that person would go the the ER.
    You should not have to suffer this horribly.
    You know I had ECT, right? Is that an option? It helped me out of the hole.

    Feel free to DM on Twitter if you can – no pressure, just know I’ll be thinking of you all day!
    Praying my butt off to all the trees and agnostic forces!!!!!!

    Liked by 5 people

      1. I’ll get right back to you now that I have one of those silly smart phones! I’m glad I got it now, because I can keep in touch with you. Xo Love ya!
        p.s. Lucy said she will give you pro bono therapy. Only problem is she doesn’t speak English. Just barks.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Jess, lean on our strength when yours is all tapped out. There are so many people here who care about you and want to uplift you and let you lean on us when you feel weak. We’ll take turns taking care of each other.

    I’ll be thinking of you and willing you to come through this with a smile on the other side.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I have prayed for you and like others think you should go to the hospital and if you are having suicidal thoughts definitely go to the ER and if nothing else call the hotline you have listed here. Please I feel for you and have been there. I have also tried to commit suicide and ended up in the hospital for 9 days. Get some help please. I will continue to pray for you. God Bless You, peace and love, ❀

    Liked by 5 people

      1. Please go Jess if you feel suicidal. We don’t want to lose you and neither does your hubby/partner. I am praying still and love and peace on the way. ❀

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Great advice Tessa. You know, I never called the hotline but I should have, it would have helped me!!!!!! I should always carry that number with me – program it into my phone. XoXo

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Good idea to program it into the phone. I never called it either. I usually just go to the ER, but most of the time they let you go unless you are a major threat to yourself or someone else. I should learn to call the hotline myself.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I pray we don’t even. I am doing well. I meant either not even. Won’t let me go back. Thank you, glad you are proud of me and my writing career. You are doing well at there trying to push your disorder to people who don’t really listen it seems. It takes a great faith to keep going and you are. So I am proud of you. Until I met you I never heard of it. You have helped me learn something new and perhaps become helpful to others. Keep it up.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. I’ll be praying. As others said, don’t be afraid to ask for help even if it might mean the hospital. I know I hate being there too…

    And remember, every time this has happened to you before, you survived!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi Jess – reading down through the comments here, it warmed my heart. It felt like friends weaving a warm nest of care and love around you- like harvest mice

    I hope the hospital gives you all the good help that good hospitals can give. You’re a wise woman to know when to ask for it.

    All best wishes


  7. Oh my goodness I’m reading this thread and terrified for your health and your life and so grateful for all these wonderful people with great words of advice. Having only been to my doctors during breakdowns I wouldn’t even know what to suggest. I’m sending prayers. Love you. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  8. 😘😘😘😘😘 Sending big prayers, loves, and cuddles. Spiritually, I’m spooning you, with my angel wings covering and protecting you. Just like the blood of Jesus πŸ’’

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi Jess.

    I’m going to try this one more time and just maybe I won’t accidentally close the page again.

    I just checked my email for the first time in a week and saw your post. I know you are at the hospital so I am not even sure when you will actually see this.

    I want you to know how incredibly proud I am of you for having the courage and strength to seek help and the wisdom to reach out before getting to the point of no return. You are awesome! You are surrounded by some really great people on this site. Most, if not all of them really know their stuff. You are in the best place you can be right now. We will all keep sending you a whole bunch of fluffy, warm and gentle hugs. I like to call them warm fuzziness.

    I am 53 and have been Bipolar my entire life. Unlike you, I do the rapid cycle thing. Did, anyway. I was diagnosed 10 years ago and have been stabilized on meds ever since. I am one of the lucky ones. First medication started working within 48 hours with no side effects and I am still on that one. I still have mood swings but they feel closer to something normal compared to the stark raving lunatic I used to be.

    I almost feel like a complete moron for what I am about to say. Especially after seeing what kind of education you have! There may only be one chance in a zillion that you don’t already know this information. You may know and may not have considered it. Then again, it may not even have anything to do with anything going on with you right now. Since I almost chose suicide because of it, I am going to risk looking like a moron if it will help even one person.

    About two and a half to three years ago I started sinking into a very deep and lasting depression. I couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t take care of myself. I didn’t have the strength or energy to lift my head off the pillow most days. This is very humiliating for me. I was often going a week without a shower. Oh, yeah. I’m disabled so thank goodness I wasn’t having to subject coworkers to my icky self. I hated myself and my life more and more every day. I had never heard of being one form of Bipolar for 50 years and then just switching to the other version but even my doctors couldn’t figure it out. My labs showed nothing remarkable. I just knew my family thought I was the laziest person to walk the earth. I sure thought that. I had come to hate myself and my life so much that I made the decision to end it all when I got my next pain meds refill. I had forgotten about an upcoming appointment with a new primary care physician. I fired the old one for yelling at me. My husband did remember the appointment and he took me to see her. I started bawling the second she walked in the door. I explained everything to her thinking she would assume that it was depression. Wrong. After a very thorough exam, I was sent directly to the lab. I almost laughed but I was crying to hard. Did they have a magical lab that was going to show something the last one hadn’t? Nope. Just a pretty smart doctor was all it took. I got a call the very next day from a very shocked doctor. She told me she had never seen labs come back on any patient with such a critically low level of vitamin D. Yup. My level was 6 nl/mg. Most of the medical groups out there feel that 40 to 50 nl/MG is considered normal. That’s what it was. I was put on a mega dose for six weeks. I started feeling better after just the second dose. I never felt great but I was no longer suicidal and I could actually function somewhat.

    Having NEVER been one to learn from my mistakes, I now find myself right back in that place. That doctor left that practice a few weeks after that visit. I took too long to find a new doctor. I had labs done yesterday and got the results back this morning. She is putting me on double the dose that first doctor did and for no less than 6 months. I have been told I have to sit in direct sunlight every day for a minimum of 10 minutes even if it’s freezing outside. I also have to take calcium.

    I really didn’t mean to make this so long. I’m sorry. Most of the websites I have checked out are claiming that this has become an epidemic in this country. As much as 80% of the population does not get the amount of vitamin d that is necessary.

    I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV so I couldn’t begin to say whether you may be suffering from vitamin d deficiency or not. Oh, shit. I almost forgot. That test is NOT included in regular labs that your doc orders. They must request it specifically.

    I’m not a health food or vitamin freak. Wait. Is a big Mac classified as health food? Just kidding. I’m not trying to sell you on something. I just know I came awfully close to ending my life over what I thought was depression. You may be perfectly healthy. If you do not spend a good bit of time in the sun and/or you do not get the necessary amount of calcium so that the vitamin d can be absorbed into your body,then I am begging you to ask for labs and ask or demand that your levels be tested. Most doctors never even bother to ask for it. At least rule that out because if you are critically low like I am, no amount of Bipolar or depression medication will make things better.

    Regardless of how that test turns out, do you think when you get to feeling better that perhaps you could find a keyboard app with a maximum character usage thingy on it for me so that I can quit writing a damn book every time I do a comment? I’m gonna be the first person ever kicked off WordPress for typing too many words.

    You are in my heart and my thoughts. I am sending a plethora of warm fuzziness your way.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Jess – I agree about going to the hospital. You can lay down there just as much as you can at home. I am sending prayers. And try hard to remember – it will get better. Nothing is permanent in the bipolar world.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Jess, I am glad you found the energy to reach out here in the blogosphere and got lots of blessings and important advice. Wonderful that you got to a safe place, with your husband by your side. Hubby

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I was diagnosed bipolar 30 years ago. It was Hell. It took decades to get the correct diagnosis and treatment: Lithium. It was miraculous. I bring this up because I see many bipolar people struggle with severe symptoms due to the wrong medication. “Big Pharma” tells lies about lithium, because it’s CHEAP and they make millions on “their” drugs and push docs to prescribe moneymakers and multiple drugs that aren’t needed. I don’t know what you’re taking, but lithium still is the no.1 effective treatment for bipolar. Without it, I wouldn’t have survived 1 year let alone 30 years.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m opposed to using any drug that requires constant toxin screenings but if that ends up being the one that works then I’ll get to that one. I like the cocktail I’m on right now. I’m glad you’re stable but I’m honestly not ready for lithium just yet.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s