Ready. Set. Sail!
So far so good. I have to say that this is the longest I’ve been Stable in God knows how long. Years. Either it’s Depression or Mania with me. NOT THIS TIME!! I have been Stable for a solid 3 weeks. Thank God! That’s seriously the longest amount of time I haven’t felt undeniably horny or overwhelmingly distraught. I love it. I can think clearly and basically there is no sign of Mania on the horizon. I’m not bored either. Well. Work has been slow so there’s that. Other than that, no drama.
I want to just say how amazing this is. I want to treasure this while it lasts. God I don’t want to go back up again. I know I said that already but I mean it. It’s more trouble than it’s worth.
The only problem I keep facing is the constant reminders of what happened in 2015. Little things jolt my memory. Of what I did. It feels like a blur. Like it wasn’t me. Even talking to my therapist yesterday, it felt like it wasn’t real. That it didn’t happen. Obviously it did but you can understand what I mean. It feels so surreal. Not that I’m denying what happened but it just wasn’t like me at all. I can’t imagine betraying my husband like that. Not in a million years. You have to believe me when I tell you that the whole thing just makes me wince. It just is SO SO out of my character. I’m still in disbelief. One day it’ll fully sink in I suppose. Sort of like Jekyll and Hyde. How did I get so out of control?
Well I’m rambling aren’t I? I bet you’re waiting for the surprise. Well here it is:
Guess who is the newest bpHope Blogger??!! ME!!! And my first article publishes on March 10 so stay tuned!!
Oh…what’s that?!?!? Yeah I just did that. Hahahaha! You’re probably shocked huh? I debated back and forth about whether or not to SHOW MY FACE. But I trust you guys. No one here is going to rat me out and destroy my life right? Please don’t. I’m honestly not ready to come out of the “bipolar closet” just yet. And tattling is a dick thing to do.
Overall what is the point of working for the bpHope team? Well I wanted to do two things:
- Repay bpHope for literally changing my life when it came to learning about hypersexuality and saving my marriage. Without their articles, I would be just absolutely lost and ashamed.
- Show the world that life can go on and things will get better. That there is hope. That even through the darkest times that things will get better.
And I sincerely believe that I can help so many people. I do. So I want to write for them. Blog traffic aside, this has been a dream of mine. So I’ll do my best to let the world know that bipolar doesn’t have to have the last word. That it’s tolerable and you have the strength to fight through it. Also, stigma fighting.
So here’s to a great new opportunity. Sorry, no swearing allowed on their site. Don’t worry. You’ll get your routine overdose of my spicy Jamaican goodness on my blog!!!