Looking For Work In All The Wrong Places

Ready. Set. Sail!

Oh man. I’m ALL out of sorts. I really honestly don’t know what to do with my life. I’ve been praying long and hard to the Angel of Fucks to show up and give me some. Lord knows he has a lot of fucks to give! I’m not giving any at the moment. But he is busy. And I’m not. And this whole “soul-searching” thing is really getting me bogged down.

How did my life end up like this? I had it all figured out. Meet a boy. Go to college. Get my degree in the sciences. Get married. Have a great career. Have kids. Retire. Die.

Boy does bipolar throw a wrench in your plans!!! God damn. And….I’m not asking for advice although I’m open to some…I don’t need pity.

It’s not that I can’t  do anything; I just haven’t found my passion. To be honest, for you guys that read my latest Life Story post (last chance before I publish Part 2!!), I wanted to be an artist. I did. I had a real passion for it and I was good at it! But my parents you’ll later find out, said that there was no money in art and forced me to go into science. Which I’m essentially not interested in at the moment. I’m burnt out. It’s a lot of long hours and mental work. It’s rewarding obviously but…meh. I’ve just never been passionate about it and I don’t want to just get a job and hate going into work. I can’t tell you how many times I skipped going into work the last 6 months because I just didn’t have any motivation. That was on days I wasn’t having Depression! And the job was one of the best I’ve seen. I had a magnificent, caring boss and a lot of flexibility and great pay. So why wasn’t I happy with it?

Oh well. So that’s me right now. I am looking into something right now I’d rather not mention on here to preserve my identity and the company’s but it seems great. So crossing my fingers. I just hate staying at home all day. I want to do SOMETHING to pass the time.

Or I could be a prostitute. I’m hypersexual right now so that could pay off with some serious cash! Woot woot! What would my name be? Beth? Bertha? Mandy? Carol? Destiny maybe? Or Glitter Tits? Nah that’s trashy. How about Satan’s Cunt? Too harsh. Penis Pillows (The Dragon gave me that idea. He is an old friend of mine who is pretty fucked up in the head :-P)? Oh I know! Golden Goddess. Cool!

Now I just need a pimp. Currently accepting any and all resumes in the comments below. Most creative wins a prize! Please no pics for Christ’s sake!

19 thoughts on “Looking For Work In All The Wrong Places

  1. The pimp name generator says I am…President McDaddy Slick. Come work for daddy…

    I was going to be a writer before bipolar and all this shit. I had an agent in New York, a finished manuscript she liked…Then suddenly I couldn’t pay her $150 an chapter fee and it all went to hell…Thank you, bipolar.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Been there done that Jess. Well, not the prostitution part, but damn close when my marriage fell apart, I was homeless, and alone. Then I chose to drive a taxi in a tourist town and interacted with lots of people, some celebrities and a few dregs of the earth. UNTIL……until I found my place, which took about 5 years, but, the solitude of driving a taxi and meeting new people and saving up for a place of my own was worth it…mentally. I finally connected with someone in my taxi who said, “Hey, why don’t ya drive a limo for the local casino…you like driving.” So, I did. And that was very enjoyable, did it for 8 years, retired, and now write. So, YOU have to find that temp escape (work) to pass the time, regardless of if you really want to do it, and hopefully find your place.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry I lost my phone or I would’ve replied sooner. I really liked your advice. Your the only person that actually gave me a great example of something manageable and realistic. I’m really happy to say that this calmed my nerves and allowed me to sort of start thinking along the lines of doing something. Now I just need to figure out what. I think I take myself too seriously sometimes. Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this helped.


  3. When I was homeless I prostituted myself a lot (sleep with anyone just to get a roof over my head.) Move forward a dozen or so years and I’m on permanent disability and writing my first novel. I’d forgotten how much I loved to write. 52 years old and I finally know what I want to do when I grow up. I’ll let you know when the book comes out.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m SO excited about your job possibility – I cannot imagine them not making an offer!!!!!

    I love your hooker names, by the way – my favorite one sounds like a skewed “My Little Pony” name: Glitter Tits!
    I might use that for myself.

    One of my friends has bipolar too & is going through HELL, living with her soon-to-be ex-husband. Ugh.
    In every email we send one another, we sign off “Blankety Blank Adjective Tits” where we try to use the most accurate adjective that describes how we really are, such as “Tired Tits”, “I Hate Life Tits etc.
    Her most recent one was “Tits that Haven’t Been Touched in a Year Tits”.

    I rambled there…..sorry sweetness. Just know I love you and like Vic, & I have 10,000% faith in you.
    You’re an old soul, brilliant and have all kinds of gifts going on in that beautiful inside & out noggin.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wish you lived closer because I’d be giving you the biggest hug right now. Dyane I can always count on you to give me the pep talk I need when I’m worried or feeling low. Don’t ever change. I’m so so happy to call you a friend.

      “Life is Hard but I Can Do it Tits”

      Liked by 1 person

  5. p.s. I LOVE THIS POST TITLE “Looking for work in all the wrong places”!!!!!!!
    But now I have *THIS* song in my head – it’s all your fault, but since I adore you, I forgive you!
    I’m so fucking dumb – I thught Kenny Rogers sang this!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I thought I wanted to be in a creative field. Went to school for fashion design and merchandising. Wasted a lot of my parents’ money as they tried to be supportive of my passions. However, bipolar disorder really threw a wrench in my ability to consistently create work worth a shit. I’d pull all nighters because I’d procrastinate. Or I’d dwell in anxiety over severe writer’s block. Eventually, I had to give up my dreams of being a jet-setting fashionista and looked for a more structured career path. 6 years ago I decided to enter health care. Now I work in the high stress world of cardiovascular surgery. It’s not as glamorous but it keeps me engaged, constantly learning and every once in a while takes me on wild adrenaline roller coaster. I’ve never felt more “professionally” alive. It’s not for everyone but it’s the perfect career for someone who just needs to get out of their own head once in a while and just focus on a goal, which for me is always saving the lives of my patients. Best of luck to you in finding whatever you’re looking for!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s exactly what I need is to get out of my head. Hopefully I can figure things out and find something that I can do. I really appreciate you speaking up and giving me your advice. It really helped me gain some perspective. Thank you.


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