Do You Wanna Know A Secret?

Ready. Set. Sail!

Notice I didn’t ask you if you wanted to build a Goddamn snowman!! Those of you cringing know what I’m referencing! If you don’t, you’ve been living under a rock the past few years and have therefore retained significantly more brain cells that most of us. Also, Donald Trump is the Republican nominee for President of the United States of America. No I’m not joking. You’re welcome.

Anyways, you’re all probably wondering where I went. Here is the updated Map :

“Jess! Tell us what magical secrets you have uncovered from your long journey!”

Ughhh…nothing. I was hiding under the covers crying and depressed. Hating myself.

Now I’m out from under the covers. Feeling myself.

Why the change, you ask? Well meds. Duh. And I’ve basically been just over it. I’ve accepted myself. My limitations. And am just taking a break from hating myself. I can only do so much. When I’m ready to go back to work, I will. Meantime, I’m working on my book proposal. Dyane Leshin Hardwoodย (HuffPost Blogger Extraordinaire!)ย has very generously given me some useful contact information of which I’m finally utilizing. Thanks my dear!

So that’s me right now. I have a funny story currently in the works right now but I really need to go back and finish my Life Story series because it’s been too long and I forgot I left you guys with a cliffhanger (my bad!). I’ll inform you once it’s cooled down but it’s a fun one!

So yeah. In honor of feeling myself, here is a fun positive upbeat song to get you going. Granted I post every single little detail of myself on the internet for all to read, there isn’t much left when it comes to secrets for me. But alas. Most of you don’t know a lot about me yet. Like the fact that I’m Batman. Oh. Shit! Fuck!! I wasn’t supposed to tell you that yet!! Oh, well.

Love you tribe and friends!

I’ve got bi-polar disorder
My shit’s not in order
I’m overweight
I’m always late
I’ve got too many things to say
I rock mom jeans, cat earrings
Extrapolate my feelings
My family is dysfunctional
But we have a good time killing each other

They tell us from the time we’re young
To hide the things that we don’t like about ourselves
Inside ourselves
I know I’m not the only one who spent so long attempting to be someone else
Well I’m over it

I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are, secrets are
I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are, secrets are
So-o-o-o-o what
So-o-o-o-o what
So-o-o-o-o what
So-o-o-o-o what


15 thoughts on “Do You Wanna Know A Secret?

  1. Ok so the BD shit storm hits me three to four times per month especially on the mania side. I take my meds, see my shrink, go to my AA meetings (30 yrs sober), try to eat right and exercise three times per week. It just does what??? Not a fucking thing when the storm hits. yoga. belling breathing it’s like a tickle against the energy rip. So the idea that there is a break through or good sailing for any length of time for me is just a frocking illusion. I attempt to stay home, no caffeine, try not to masturbate insanely, watch porn ridiculously, swear like a trooper if a friend call on the cell and do not spend money on the internet for crap I don’t need and regret buying later. My only hope is after the storm calms, I have not 1. destroyed a relationship, 2. hurt myself or another,
    3. ate too much 4. bought expensive items. So far in the last 6 months I have damaged one relationship which appears to be mending, bought some expensive items, but returned them for full credit, had some bad porn/masturbation days, I tripped at night and slammed my neck against the door and wrecked my neck pretty bad. I’m 68, have superior health, walk/bike and yoga every week, have a couple widows I do the deal with. But folks it ain’t easy being Me. And only this crowd can relate.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow Skip! That’s quite a story. I agree with you entirely about the utter chaos bipolar causes. It’s fucking awful. Hang in there my friend. You still have many years ahead of you. I commend you for hanging on this long. I’m not sure if I’ll ever see 68 years old. Hopefully. Take care my friend and thanks for commenting!

      Like

  2. You and I are at the exact same place. Got tired of feeling sorry for myself for being off work on sick leave and just accepted that I am what I am and it is what is. I’ve been reading the comments, and I have to agree: Robert Downey Jr. does it for me too. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is awesome, but I’m still left thinking do I know enough about Jess?
    I don’t think so. I know she’s cool.
    I know she’s funny.
    I like the above,
    I like the fact that meds have taken her from under the covers, but I want to more next time pls.
    Thanks Jess, Be Well

    Liked by 1 person

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