Ready. Set. Sail!
Hey there everybody!! I never post on the weekends but I want to make a shameless blog promotion!!! (booooo) Today is the day I made 10,000 views on The Bipolar Compass!!
I’m in absolute shock. No honestly. I find it strange and shocking that you guys have put up with my crazy nonsense! I never ever ever EVER thought this would be anything other than just a digital log of my experiences. Like, I don’t even think that my life is that interesting. I guess some people disagree. To all you ridiculously awesome people out there that have been loyally following me from the beginning (and those of you who just jumped on board the crazy train) I want to say that I am in your debt. I REALLY AM!! My achievement hinges on your support.
Being serious for a moment, I started this blog as a way of therapy. I felt so ashamed of myself about what I did to my husband last year. I needed to get it off my chest and writing it down seemed like a good option. And I thought I’d get a lot of hatred and anger. But I didn’t. You guys were more than supportive to someone who needed help. Thank you so so much for that. I needed it.
Every once in awhile I got caught up in the stats. I wanted more people to hear me. I felt like I could help couples out there struggling. It took a while to regain perspective. I want my voice heard but I know already that if I can help just one person, that makes this whole thing worth it. So I try not to care about likes, views, and followers.
I hate that that means I owe my blogging career to Mark (aka The Snake). It seems so odd that someone who messed up my life so badly is responsible for my success in this. Responsible for unlocking my potential as an actual writer. Something I never thought I was. And allowing me to work for bpHope and The Bipolar Blogger Network. It’s bizarre that he made such a positive and negative impact on my life. I don’t say I owe him but there definitely exists a silver lining there.
I really hope he is gone for good. I do mean that. Yeah I’m not stupid. I know that whenever I write about him my stats go through the roof. It makes me ill. I hate writing about it. About my hypersexuality. It’s something that I am still coming to terms with. And I don’t write about it to get more stats. I write about what’s going on in my life and Mania tends to be something that people like reading about. Sex sells. I wish it didn’t. I’d like if people cared about my other posts as much as they do about the “Feeding The Fire” series. I can’t change that but I am hoping that I’ll stop writing about it. That I’ll get it under control one day and it won’t be an issue. I want to stay married to my husband. This isn’t a game and I’m not playing cute. I’ve hurt him more than anyone else. I broke the marriage that we once had and we’ll never have that again. He’ll never trust me again. That’s something I have to live with every day for the rest of my life.
So after 8 months of mental vomiting, it’s come to this. I hope you guys will continue on with me on my journey. Thanks again and let’s keep going.
Now back to business. Grab your maps and compasses and follow me!