Ready. Set. Sail!
Hello everyone. It’s Jess. Duh! And I’m a little bored and I’m kinda out of ideas on what to blog about. So…here is the deal. I know some of you probably have some questions about who I am and what I’m thinking/feeling right now (or maybe you are just like “meh, she’s entertaining enough but I could give a flying fuck”). In that case you are a jerk and I’m sad and I’m going to go into a corner and cry. I’m not your fucking monkey! I don’t dance until I have AT LEAST 14 bananas and a cigarette (JK I don’t smoke. There goes one of your questions!).
No for realzies, ask me anything. Anything at all. I’ll post the answers anonymously in my next post. No question is too personal or sexual or controversial. Just leave my husband and friends Nancy and The Dragon out of it. Those questions WILL BE IGNORED!
Let’s try an example:
“Hey Jess. I have a question. Would you rather have sex with a unicorn or Bigfoot?”
Unicorn. Hands down. Bigfoot sounds too large and I can just hear my hips cracking under the weight. Plus, unicorns have the horn and you can do some REAL KINKY SHIT with that! (bowchickawowow!)
Cool so let’s play. You have until Sunday @ 11:59PM PST.
First person to ask a question gets a blowjob (Hahaha…no! Jk)