Ready. Set. Sail!
(Mania Trigger warning! Explicit sexual content!)
I’m not doing so good right now. I’m really fucking manic. I’ve been manic for about a week or so now and it’s been really taking me out of focus with reality. My brain is going so fast I feel like I can’t keep a string of two related sentences together. I’m trying to lie down but my mind is wide awake. I’m tired and restless. I wake up at odd hours. But there is one thing I love.
I feel fucking high. I have so much energy. I feel so confident. I’m alluring and fun and cute and I really think everyone is noticing me. Mania is the fucking best! Oh man and I’m hypersexual too.
So I’ve been chatting with this guy online…let’s call him Peter. Peter is cute (German background — blonde hair, hazel eyes) tall, like 6′ 3″, and super sweet. Unlike Mark though, he isn’t as aggressive. Thankfully. But I hate the fact that he is married. And has a 2.5 year old son.
God! This whole post is going to get me in so much trouble! Sorry everyone!
I’m not trying to be a homewrecker. I’m really not! I just can’t stop myself. I started chatting because I was bored and now I can’t physically stop myself. I try. Every time I try. It’s compulsive. Everytime I get a message from him my hand immediately goes to the phone to answer. That’s when I get that sweet rush. Fire courses through my veins and releases that intoxicating feeling of satisfaction. And I crave it and I keep doing it. I’m not kidding when I say I need it. I NEED IT. It feels so good.
But I feel like I can handle it this time. I know I said that last time but this time is different. This isn’t Mark. This guys isn’t nearly as persuasive. So I’m just going to play the game just a little longer then I’ll stop and get help.
I think the 1000mg of Depakote hasn’t kicked in yet. That and I’m down to about 25 mg Lamictal now. Hmmmm…..oh man my brain is on fire. God I feel so fucking good!! But tired.
Oh man what was I saying. Oh yeah. I want this guy. Like badly. He says he can do anything in the world I want. He wants to fuck me hard and long. He says he’d spread my legs wide open and shove his tongue all the way inside. That he’d kiss every inch of me and touch and lick my most sensitive areas. He is even going to buy me a Michael Kors purse! Holy shit! I already have one but whatever. Like, I’ve heard of guys doing that but fuck. I don’t want to take his money though. That’s wrong. Well it’s all wrong.
I can just imagine the whole thing…
They sit facing each other; staring deeply into each other’s eyes. Hearts begin to race and pupils dilate. Her throat tightens as she takes a small gulp out of nervousness. He leans forward and whispers in her ear, “I’ve been craving you so badly it hurts. I’ve never felt this much sexual tension from anyone. I want to get lost in lust with you make you cum over and over again.”
He rests his hands on her legs and begins slowly moving up her thighs kissing her neck as he goes.
“You drive me fucking crazy. You’ve been on my mind constantly. All I want to do is give you the pleasure you so desperately deserve.”
He reaches his hands down her panties and begins rubbing.
“Mmmmmfff….you’re so fucking wet. God you make me so hard. You’re fucking mine! You hear me? I want all of your body. I’m going to be the one to give you everything you desire. Fuck! Be a good girl for me.”
Oh man. This is getting a little intense. I better stop.
Sorry I got really carried away really fucking fast!! I’m fine though. I’ll be fine. I’m just needing this and it feels so good and I can’t stop right now. It won’t lead anywhere. We are just talking. So that’s what’s up.
In case you were wondering. Man I need a cold shower!