Going Through Some Stuff

Ready. Set. Sail!

Alright tribe and friends, I have a question: How many times have you been in a situation where you basically explored all options and looked at things from every single angle you could find and could not for the love of Zeus figure out a way to solve the problem? Probably a lot of you are nodding your heads in agreement. Maybe all of you are. I dunno. But basically, you tried your very best and weren’t able to find a solution so you had to just accept defeat, give up, give in, and move on.

So yeah. That’s where I’m at right now with my bipolar. I’ve completely given up. Not on fighting it. I’m letting the emotions take over and do their thing and I’m allowing myself to experience my symptoms. I’ve been crazy manic the past couple weeks and now things are starting to head down and yesterday I just felt the cold dark blanket of despair cover over me. I cried a few times but not enough to warrant any real concerns from my husband.

For those of you who are curious, he had his surgery and will be doing a follow up later today with his doctor to see if he is going to need to go in for chemo. We don’t think so but cross your fingers anyways!! I’ll make sure to update people when that happens.

So here is the thing..

…I’ve been going through some stuff and I haven’t told people about it…

(Gasp! Jess isn’t being honest on her blog?!?!?!? The audacity!!! Burn her!!! Burn the witch!!)

…I know. I KNOW!!!

I’m so sorry. I was supposed to be honest and everything. Trust me when I say I need to delay the honesty for just a little, little, tiny bit longer. It won’t make sense unless I have the full story so be patient! But trust me when I say I’m fine and have good news to share once all the dust settles.

Aside from that, may I take a moment to vent? It’s the reason I can’t sleep and I kinda need to get this bipolar nonsense out of my system.



FUCK!!!! Cock-sucking motherfucking bullshit!! ARGH!!!! Why in fuck’s name is all this garbage happening to me?!?!?! Fucking God damn garbage. Stupid ass cunt-faced unicorn rainbow shit smells like all the cockweasels jizzed themselves!! Weiner-gobbling fucktard!!

…OK…OK… (*heavy breathing*)…I feel a little better now. You’ll understand soon enough.

That concludes our broadcast. Tune in next time for a turtle fucking a walrus. It should be just as graphic as it sounds!


11 thoughts on “Going Through Some Stuff

  1. I don’t know if you have a current med regime, but with all your manic episodes leading to a downfall and this frustration…You might consider dual mood stabilizer therapy.

    If not…I’ll customize a Z-whacker and you can go batshit on the maggot infested pus sucking cockweasel population.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Can I do both?!? A dual mood stabilizer would work wonders for me I think. I just hate the idea of adding extra pills to my régime. I’ll talk to my pdoc. But for right now I’d be more than honored to take your custom Z-Whacker!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve been on lithiu/lamictal therapy off and on for 9 years. We add the lithium when I start becoming manic or mixed, helps with hypersexuality, too. W0rth a shot versus feeling so out of control.
        Let’s hope that zombie apocalypse hits or we’re gonna have to use the whackers on our fellow man…Not that I’d cry for the cockweasels but I like some people…

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Jess I hope things get better and that you don’t go down to low into depression. We are here for you when things get worked out enough for you to share the stuff you are going through. Hugs and love sweetie!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Just know I care about you and want to be there for you in any struggles you face. I can guarantee any thing you go through, I’ve most likely had some experience with it in my life. But know how much I love and care for you!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh I know exactly what you’re talking about with feeling like you’re out of options. I sort of feel like I have choices that need to be made and the universe isn’t giving me any clues as to what the right choice is (or less wrong choice?). But it’s not like I can put off making a decision forever.

    Feeling feelings is good. It’s when those feelings linger far too long or start to lead to destructive actions that you have to intervene. It’s actually a good thing that you can have “down” feelings and your husband doesn’t freak the fuck out immediately. As a partner, it’s easy to fall into the trap of interpreting every emotion as a sign of bipolar gone wild. “OMG you’re speaking mildly fast because you’re excited about this positive thing…you must be having a manic episode and you need to go to the ER!”

    And my fingers are crossed for you and your husband!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Lori. Looks like things are good with him for now but I’ll post about that soon. Feelings are kinda annoying right now and I’d rather not have to deal with them. But you know. They’ll pass.


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