I literally just want to blow my fucking skull off my body. My head has been pounding. I feel sick. I hate taking pills. I fucking HATE men. And I just want to run away.

Yes it’s about Mark.

No he’s not gone.




16 thoughts on “Uggghhhh…

  1. Sorry for your current circumstance. I have no magic words. Yes men are generally selfish assholes but not all are. I hope the turnaround you seek is near not far.
    Take care,

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry, Jess….please do whatever it takes to release more of your anger without hurting yourself .

    I thought 7 cups of tea might help – it’s a free virutal chat “listening” service. I’ve never contacted them, but I’ve been tempted to do it a few times. Maybe connecting and venting with someone in this way might help.

    I looked at the list of what the listeners specialize in. I hoped there would be topics much more specific to what you’re going through/what you’ve been through, but there are a few that could fit like relationship stress, bipolar, & some others

    Here’s their official description:

    “7 Cups of Tea is an on-demand emotional health and well-being service. Our bridging technology anonymously & securely connects real people to real listeners in one-on-one chat. Anyone who wants to talk about whatever is on their mind can quickly reach out to a trained, compassionate listener through our network. We have hundreds of listeners who come from all walks of life and have diverse experiences.

    People connect with listeners on 7 Cups of Tea for all kinds of reasons, from big existential thoughts to small, day-to-day things that we all experience. Unlike talking to family or friends, a 7 Cups of Tea listener doesn’t judge or try to solve problems and say what to do. Our listeners just listen. They understand. They give you the space you need to help you clear your head.”

    Sending you hugs, J.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Lady Dy!!!!!! Uggghhh… I just got back from inpatient for being suicidal and I need to catch up with you. Thank you SOOOO much for this link. I already bookmarked it and am going to check it out. This is probably going to be the most helpful thing in the world for me. I miss you so much. I’m on my way over to you blog to catch up. Lots of hugs!! XOXOXO


      1. Oh sweetie, I’m so proud of you for going inpatient. You know I did it more than once. It sucks shit. But you do it – you’re truly amazing. This link is worth a try – you never know, right/ And it’s free, always good! Please hang in there, I’m sending you big hugs, and you’ll be in my thoughts!!!!! I want to use “prayres” but the agnostic in me (which is 100% ) says that I’m full of shit if I use that word “prayer” LOL!

        Anyway……much, much love to you, Jess. You’re brilliant, beautiful, young….you MUST stick around because it’s going to get better. I know that sounds like Mary Poppins, but it WILL. XXOXOOXOXOXOX

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s