I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet. A lot has happened. I’ll try and update everyone soon. I’m really scared. I’m panicking right now. I haven’t been sleeping. For weeks. I’m on Trilafon. Does anyone know if it makes you paranoid? I feel like I’m in danger. I’m edgy and nervous and scared. I miss you guys. Please talk to me.

16 thoughts on “Hello?

  1. I’m sorry times are hard. I’ve been there and I get it. I don’t know that med. I’m on lamictal and risperidone. They’ve helped me the most over the years. I’ve been on so many different ones the last 20years in every combination. Just know that we are all here for you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling! Definitely let your psychiatrist know how you’re feeling because when the side effects are really awful they usually will switch you off of them pretty quickly. At the very least, your psychiatrist can help you figure out what symptoms are related to the Meds and which might just be bipolar symptoms that the Meds aren’t fixing. I know my husband and daughter sometimes feel like they can’t talk about some of their symptoms like it’s their fault the Meds aren’t working. But I think whenever you feel like you can’t talk about something then that’s a sure sign that you should talk about it with someone. Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You’re not alone. I’m scared too. I just had my first intense panic attack. I thought for sure I was dying and was rushed to the hospital via ambulance. Of course when they discovered I was bipolar my symptoms were brushed off and the help stopped. Now I’m dealing with feelings of paranoia and persecution. I don’t “think” I should feel that way but I do. Just hold on girl! Tell yourself it’s just the downside of our roller coaster …

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I just read an article you wrote back in January about bipolar disorder and wanted to seek you out to thank you for the article. This is how I found your blog and now see that you’re having a hard time at present. I am too; you are not alone.
    By now, based on when you originally wrote this post. you have probably seen your psychiatrist and your therapist. I really hope they were able to work with your meds and through talk therapy give you some relief. I understand what you must be feeling. So I’m not going to be the one to sell you a bed of roses right now. Sometimes that’s not helpful for me at all. What I do know is that for the vast majority of times we fall down, we will get back up. It might take a while but it happens. Keep your eye on that prize. Life will get better. Think of the times that you’ve come out of a depressive state and realize once again how beautiful something as simple as the sun shining brightly made you feel. It’s amazing how our perspective finally changes. I wish that for you. For all of us.
    Sending hugs,


  5. Hi there, I just found this blog and read your post about hyper sexuality, as it is something I am dealing with constantly, My wife doesn’t understand it and I’ve just been looking for resources, I’ve only been in therapy for a while and I am not on any medications, just wanted to let you know that your writing is beautiful and I connect to it so personally. I am sorry you are going through a ruff time and I hope it goes better for you soon.


  6. I have suffered from bipolar 2 my entire life but as most I was treated only for depression. At 41 after three pregnancies that resulted in deeper depression each time, finally broke down and found a psychiatrist. I relate so much to your posts in your blog. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story! It is a journey for all of us and support from others having the same struggle really helps. Thank you again and I hope you are feeling better.


  7. I hope you are doing better! I just found your blog when I renewed my subscription to Bp Hope magazine after a few years. Some things you said in your article really hit home & I just wrote them in my journal. I’ve been struggling with bipolar for 20 years and am having my first relapse in 8 years. I’m really struggling and am so scared. Please know you are not alone and have helped me some already just by having tnois blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’ve been on Trilafon , it gave me tardive dyskinesia, and made me so restless, I walked miles inside the inpatient unit where I was. I didn’t experience paranoia and it’s not listed as one of the side effects. If you’re manic, paranoia can be a symptom of mania. Hang in there Jess! Things will get better. Sending you lots of love and hugs. Samina.


  9. I know how you feel, I’m bipolar II with mixed episodes and I’m paranoid all the time. I live with my daughter and son-in-law, and he invaded my private safe space without my permission. I feel violated and even more paranoid. I have not taken the med you are speaking of so I can’t help you there. But it sucks when your husband and family members just don’t get what we go through daily and how exhausting it is. Hang I there I’m here for you as well as everybody else that has responded to your blog.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s