Ready. Set. Sail!
There’s this weird unsteadiness I get whenever I think about my blog. It feels almost unnecessary but at the same time crucial to the bipolar community. I write mostly about a symptom hardly anyone on the planet has. Heck, some days, I don’t even believe it. Maybe I’m just weak. Maybe it’s my meds. I don’t know. But I guess that’s not my job is it? MY job is to tell all y’all about my experiences with bipolar disorder; what happens to me during mania, and let you decide. I guess. I can’t do much else. But I have to tell you I’ve come across a lot…A LOT of stories from people who have the exact same issue as me: the need for constant sexual attention, the cravings, the headaches,etc.
So I don’t know where I’m going with this. I brought it up because I’m starting to come up. I’m starting to feel the mania creeping up like a spider making it’s way up my back. I can feel it, the tiny legs tickle as it slowly makes it’s way to my brain, ready to crawl through my ears and take over.
So I’m bargaining with myself, pleading for the feeling to go away. I haven’t had any issues with this in over 9 months and now it’s making it’s way back to me.
The Forbidden Forest had burnt down, or at least I assumed it did. Then how is it possible that I’m standing in front of it right now as we speak? I can hear the low whisper of the wind howling through the trees calling out my name…”Jess”…
And I don’t want any part of it. Not again. Not ever. I want my peace and sanity back.
Over the past few months of I’d forgotten that I was bipolar. The Depression was there but the Mania hasn’t been there. I thought I was cured.
I guess not.