Feeling Better

Ready. Set. Sail!

Hi-ho everyone. Sorry if I was quiet for too long. I wanted to wait until the new medication kicked in. Didnt’t want to jump the gun on that.

So I do have a confession to make…I’m back on the Wellbutrin. I know, I know! I remember. That’s the medication that made me go bananas and meet up with Mark. I understand your concern but it really hasn’t made me manic at all.

I feel like I’m strolling across a warm meadow. The tall grass murmuring in the strong breeze gives off an earthy, familiar smell. Beside me lies my new kitty splayed out and basking in the hot rays.

That’s how I feel right now. I think I’ll try and finish up some things.

There is one other thing…I might’ve done…that I’m not proud of.

You’ll have to wait and see.


3 thoughts on “Feeling Better

  1. Hi Jess,

    Yet again, another refreshingly honest post.I wish I had the ability to be as open.

    As one of your background readers, as in I don’t post often but have been reading for years, can I say one important thing, you cannot be tempted where there’s no temptation. That’s so easily said, and I say it both with the up most respect. Not comparing as we each have our own journey, just be careful please. I’d hate for you to put yourself through all the pain and torture you suffered last year. Pdocs just don’t get how destruct the side effects of what they prescribe. Well that’s my experience.

    Be careful. If mark cares, truly cares for you, he’ll leave you alone and respect you and your family. I do hope that is his the tenure of his actions should you decide to make contact.

    Take Care, and thank you for sharing the painful side and truly torturous nature of bipolar.

    Joel.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Jess.
    I read your story pertaining to the indiscretion with Mark with great interest particularly as it was reminiscent of an affair I had with a married woman, whom I later discovered is bipolar.
    We met in a library, where I work as a librarian that assisted her with an information query.
    Our interaction was initially very professional, but I found myself drawn to her in a very intense manner.
    We exchanged contact numbers and she began calling me very often to chat and this have sexual undertones.
    In the early stages of our interactions I found her interest in me quite flattering and this stroked my ego.
    She was completely uninhibited and confident about meeting me in public despite being married and having 2 children.
    In the 2 months we saw each other, we never had sex but I did touch her intimately which was so exhilarating for me given her response.
    While we were seeing each other, my focus on the relationship was on maintaining an emotional connection rather than the physical aspects. It might be worth noting our age differences, I’m 47 and she 37.
    Despite the short two month affair there were times were I felt overwhelmed by the attention and phone calls and tried to stay away, but would relent and contact her after a few days.

    There were times were she backed off but would return after a day or two saying that she missed me.

    We never had much face to face contact as her husband appeared to me monitoring her calls and threatened to attack me if he discovered us together. Who knows what he would be capable of. In spite of this I still wanted to be connected to her even if just telephonically.

    On the 3 December 2018 she tried to reach me but my phone was off.
    She left a voice message that suggested she was agitated and I haven’t heard from her since.

    I did not try to make contact with her, thinking that she needed time to cool off and would return.
    A few days after she stopped contact I learned from her work colleague that she was bi polar 2.

    In order to understand the nature of the illness I started reading, watching you tube vids.
    Everything started to become clearer in terms of this persons behaviour. Your article gave me the greatest clarity in understanding the hypersexuality symptom.

    While I understand that the illness is debilitating for the patient and those around them particular friends and family.

    This relationship will clearly not work and will certainly be risky, a part of me yearns for her to make contact with me.
    Is this crazy and unreasonable ?

    Keep up the wonderful work in your blog.

    Andrew
    South Africa

    Like

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