Jess Melancholia Q&A Contest – RESULTS!!

Ready. Set. Sail!

Hello everyone. I think today is a good day to address some of those questions you all sent me. Unfortunately, I can’t find them…I do have one person’s question that was emailed to me that I will address now. If you guys want to send/resend me more questions I’ll be happy to dedicate future blog posts to them. But this guy’s was the winner and probably the more relevant question:

“How has your sex life changed during your journey? What excites you and what are Turn offs.[?]”

Thank you Patrick for sending that one in!!!!

Let’s see…hmmm…this is a tough one.

So…it all boils down to this: It’s gotten both better and worse since my journey began. That being said I need to make sure I follow my policy and stay honest to you guys because that’s what you expect and that’s what I deliver.

In terms of having sex with my husband, things are rough at best. Because I’ve had experience with more crazy, wild, dangerous things, I don’t like the intimate, loving “making love” sort of stuff anymore.

My husband and I ended our last marriage counseling a few months ago because I figured there wasn’t anything our therapist could’ve done to help us anymore. My husband and I have been in and out of marriage therapy for probably about 3 years now with 3 different marriage therapists. I figured things might just be the way they are.

Now I’m not saying I don’t love my husband. I do. May 2019 marked our 15th year together and August will be year 8 of marriage. That’s a LONG time to be with someone (those of you in super long term relationships can stop snickering now!) My feelings for my husband have grown and changed since I was a teenager.

I feel like right now I love him on the deepest level of trust and respect. Am I attracted to him sexually…mmmm…kinda. I think we might be too familiar with each other at this point that sexual attraction isn’t going to be as strong as it was before. Is that a bad thing? No I don’t think so. The point of marriage is to be with someone you love and truly admire. The “butterflies in your stomach” feeling doesn’t last forever and neither should it.

But that’s what I long for. I miss the butterflies. I miss the excitement and the danger. Yes I am a little Manic right now but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel this way all the time. I have to actively convince myself that I don’t need the danger. That I can live comfortably and content and be happy. Maybe things will change in the future. Who knows? I try and keep my chin up.

It’s hard not to get jealous. I hear about my bff Nancy with her new boyfriend and how he treats her and is there for her on multiple rounds and such and such and I get jealous. Because I had that early in my relationship. I had that with Mark. Now it’s gone.

Some people say it comes back. Idunno. I don’t think so. Especially since it’s an attraction to something not in my husband’s nature. To be aggressive and dominating and all this stuff.

Is this why bookstores sell so many adult novels? Why Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey is popular? How many other women are going through what I’m going through now?

I’ll keep my chin up. Maybe things will get better.


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