Ready. Set. Sail!
Hey everybody!! My Depression is gone. I’m in a special place between Mania and Depression. Like, trouble sleeping and energetic but still feel like murdering me and everyone else I know. Ever get that? I feel like I’m not the only one. But yeah been SUPER BUSY.
I got a job!!! HOLY FUCK!! I’m back to being a scientist again. I work for a molecular diagnostics company. And I got hired during my Mania so I’ve been crazy productive.
I just want to say thank you all so much who reached out to me during my dark time and pulled me out. It got bad you guys. For those of you who don’t know, I had another suicide fail.
I was gone you guys. I was DONE. I felt nothing. AT. ALL. I wanted to die so badly. I got into my pjs and filled the bathtub with water and grabbed a knife to slit my wrists. I was SO done, But I couldn’t do it. I don’t know why. Something stopped me. My husband came home and found me soaking wet, eyes red from crying. Ill have to write a poem about it soon. Maybe for Halloween. Ill see if I have time.
But my friends and family were there to support me. I was so incredibly sad. I felt useless. No job no purpose. Now I feel like I have a purpose. I know a job doesn’t give you that but it really helps me. It gives me something to do during the day instead of plotting my demise.
Can someone please let me know how they’ve been? I miss everyone. I know I don’t post very often but to be fair my life was pretty boring. Nothing really to tell. Unless you just want to hear me say FUCK all day long. TBH that gets old. But you’re not here for that. You’re here for the God honest truth. And the truth is life is pretty good right now. But I definitely still want to murder every single person I know in a slow strangle because all the stupid things happened this week. Nothing important. Life stuff.
Keep your chin up guys. Hold on. The darkness ends eventually. It doesn’t feel like it but it does. No matter how long it’s been going on.
Peace out and Fuck off 🙂