“I’ve Done A Bad Thing.”





This is a FICTIONAL story that I wrote myself about what could’ve happened last night:

She woke up with a start! Cold sweat dripping down her forehead. Another dream about an affair. That makes one every day this week. Weak. Pathetic. Why can’t she get her emotions under control. What time is it? 2AM. Mania has woken her up again. She has trouble staying asleep nowadays. Insomnia and hormones keep her up at night.

She reaches for her phone. The glaring blue light in the darkness quickly flashes away any fatigue and gets her heart rate up. It’s time. She opens up the Kik app to his username. Clicks on it. Deep breaths hit her nostrils. She’s nervous. But she ignores all the warning flags in her head and sends him a message: “Hey.”

Her heart sinks. She thinks to herself, “I’ve done a bad thing.” Waiting patiently for the next ten minutes she convinces herself maybe he doesn’t want anything to do with her anymore. Maybe she is free. Maybe this was going to go nowhere and he is finally out of her life.

Her phone buzzes. The familiar green LED indicator lights up the room. Petrified she opens her phone to the app and sees an unread message: “‘Sup?” And then another one: “You’re up late.”

Fuck! She’s done it again. Her husband fast asleep beside her will surely divorce her this time. She thinks to herself, “What have I done? Fuck! Why did I think this was going to end well?”

“Hello?” Mark adds.

“Hello.” Jess replies.

“It’s been a long time. You miss me, don’t you?”

“Well no,” she responds, nervously denying her true intentions, “I just wanted to see how you were doing. Did you graduate from college yet?”

“Don’t change the subject,” he says, “You contacted me at the fucking perfect time because I want to play. And I know you want to play too.”

“No Mark. It’s not like-”

“You’re already wet aren’t you? Fuck I want to taste your sweet juices! It gets me hard just thinking about it.”

“Mark. Not again. Please.”

He begins to type feverishly knowing full well he has her undivided attention.

“I have my hand on my thick cock stroking it for you. You’re going to put those cute little lips of your on it and suck me hard. You won’t stop until I tell you to stop. Fuck baby I missed this so bad. You get me so hard you little slut. How would you like my tongue crammed in your pussy. Licking softly back and forth; drinking up all your cum.”

Her heart was beating like a drum. Every word hit her like a dagger to her heart. She could hardly breathe. Streams of dopamine and adrenaline flooded her system. All she wanted was him. The way he wraps his arms around her waist when they kiss. His tongue searching and pleasing her mouth trying to find the best way to get her turned on. His hands reaching down her panties. Finding her sweet spot and rubbing hard and fast. Her legs felt like Jello. She was completely distracted. All of a sudden!

“Huh. What? What’s going on?” Her husband groggily exclaimed. She quickly exited the app and put her phone on silent. “Hey baby what are you doing this late?”

“Oh just reading Google News,” she lied, “I can’t sleep.”

“Oh no sweetie,” he replied with a comforting tone, “Why don’t you go play Animal Crossing? That always makes you sleepy.”

“Sure thing sweetheart. Love you.”

“Love you too baby,” he said before turning back over and falling asleep.

Well that’s it for now. Join us never for the exciting conclusion…LOL. I dunno. If ya’ll want more I’ll write more. This was just something I came up with like 10 minutes ago.


6 thoughts on ““I’ve Done A Bad Thing.”

  1. Oh Jess…..DONT play into this!!!!!!! IT wants u to but you can resist it, get help now before it is too late. ITS ALL ABOUT THE CHOICES THAT WE MAKE.. I want to help, lets talk.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. There are a few questions that I would like to ask you, then some recommended reading to start with. Preferably on private channels to begin, then you could decide what you may wish to make public. Let me know what you think.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Jess,

    Please don’t go down this road. I don’t know what it is like for you, but there is an intense fight that goes on in my mind during times where the sexual side of my bipolar is just craving for the opportunity to let the monster free. IT WANTS FEEDING. It’s real, its voracious, and the more you resist it the more it is in the front of your mind.

    This isn’t a platitude when I write this. The more you fantasize, the closer you get to act on those fantasies. Mark, well, goodness, you’re a wonderful woman who is very vunerable, and I think it deplorable anyone who would take advantage you during a time where you need help, not abuse, which is exactly what he would be doing. Violating your condition, which is disgusting. The same as date rape, the same as taking advantage of a drunk woman, it’s just so wrong on so many levels.

    Please, if you can, view him for what he is, a predator. A friend would help you through this, not take advantage of it. Stability, normal is boring as hell. So is losing everything, and then when you find stability, realizing what you have lost. What is new is old eventually. Picture yourself alone in 20 years, picture yourself with an unwanted pregnacy, write a list of all the repercussions and put them on the fridge, on your phone, next to his contact. I’m kind of grasping at straws because the logical side of me knows that for myself, logic gets kicked to the kerb as cravings kick in.

    Use whatever tools you have available to you mentally, physically, emotionally, your supports,your followers, those who care about you. Writing out those cravings as you have above, if it helps is good. BUT, start to change the narration. Make it about someone else other than Mark. Make it about a 70-year-old, then a 90-year-old with cancer. Slowly change the idea around to reality.

    I wish I had answers instead of ideas. I’m alone twice because of bad choices. I can tell you the after-effects of craving last for a lifetime. The feeding the craving, minutes, hours perhaps days. But new always become old.

    Be careful, be safe, be strong.

    Hugs, Blitter

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This is incredibly difficult! I know how deep I love my hubby and my family, and I know that at the very same time I feel how bad is my crave to see another person …. How how can I explain that to me? To him? To anyone? This mania is killing my… I destroying my life!! I’ll write that list! And will repeat it again and again


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