Jesus Fucking Christ. I’m having an issue. I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to fuck up.
I know you guys have no idea what I’m even talking about, huh?
There is so much to talk about.
So if you guys listened to my new podcast (available now wherever you listen to podcasts!), you would know that I met this guy named Matt.
He dumped me 3 weeks ago and I’m still thinking about him. I miss him so fucking much it hurts. I don’t know how I fell so hard so fast. That’s not like me. He was just so charming and funny and handsome. I just let myself be vulnerable. Then he broke my heart. I feel like I should’ve known better.
Things were so great in the beginning. I talk about the first date on my podcast so go check that out in the latest episode 23.
And the passion. The desire. The rush. I talk about how when I first met him it felt too good to be true. His eyes. I get so lost in them. Piercing and determined, it’s like he is telling me how much he wants me with them.
But now it’s gone and the worst part is I don’t know why.
I have no idea why we broke up.
He didn’t give me anything other than he is “unsure” about seeing me and he thinks that he is not a good fit for me “at this time.”
Like, wtf does that mean? Don’t give me hope if you’re not going to be a man and make a decision.
I want break up sex. I want that sensation again. Every morsel. From the spine tingling way he says my name to the irresistible feeling of being pleasured by a man who can’t get enough of you. That rush when we touch. When we kiss.
I miss it.
This section is a new thought
Hey, i should’ve posted this a while ago but I was so depressed. I’ve been depressed. I have no motivation, no drive, nothing.
I just put my trust in yet another guy. He just broke my heart this morning.
I’m done. I’m taking a break.
I know you are all so confused. I’ve been gone so long. I’ve been quiet.
I tried to kill myself back in July. Didn’t work obviously.
Man. So much to talk about. You guys I’m sorry. I know I don’t post enough.
Right now I feel numb. I can’t even cry. This guy told me he was going to be there for me. Over and over again he said I could trust him and he’ll be there for me. I feel for it guys. You’re old pal Jess got duped again.
Moral of the story is all men are assholes. Period. They’re selfish and immature. They only want what’s best for them. They don’t care.