I’m Filling For Divorce

Hey guys,

I’m writing this while I’m sobbing uncontrollably. If you’ve been following my podcasts then you’ll know I’ve been having issues with my husband. I can’t take the abuse anymore. My husband has hit me across the face, tried to choke me, raped me, and last night verbally abused me for at least an hour.

Screaming obscenities 2 inches from my face.

I told him I wanted a divorce and he lost his mind.

Im exhausted. I drank a lot last night. Cried for hours and hours. I can’t stop crying.

I want him gone. I got in a car accident yesterday and my car is out of commission.

I have no job.

No money.

No car.

I feel like I’m falling apart.

I feel like I can’t do this you guys. I feel so weak. So lonely. I’m so scared. God it hurts.

I just need support you guys. I need it bad. Please say something. Anything. So I know I’m not alone.


11 thoughts on “I’m Filling For Divorce

    1. Love this comment and really pray you can get out of this situation safely and with all that you need. The comment speaks to me as well since I’m going through the fire myself, just post a rocky relationship so … definitely good advice to keep in mind ❤ Bless you.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Hang in there Jess

    Get out – divorce is hard, but your alternative could kill you

    Seek help from battered womens shelters; they are a GREAT resource

    Prayers for you

    Courtney Mills 😎

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey Jess, it really is only one chapter of many to come in the book of your life. It happens to be a chapter called ‘Right Now’, and it’s a really shitty chapter, but you can get through it and move on to happier stories. Those of us who’ve been around the block a bunch of times know that’s the case, even if it feels impossible when you’re in the thick of it. But you do need to immediately get out of a dangerous situation by getting help from whoever you can – find a place where you’re safe. From there you can factor him out as you start trying to think things through more clearly. You’re smart, beautiful, generous and self-aware – you can do this. But you need to get away from a toxic and violent situation asap, and get help from whoever it takes to do that – friends, family, police, lawyer, support services etc. As for job, money, car, loving relationship… it’s a big world full of those things and you’ll have them all again when the time’s right. Baby steps. Step 1: Be safe. x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hugs Jess,

    Mentally Ill or not, theres NO justification for another human to treat you, little alone threaten and abuse you the way he has. I totally agree with your thoughts – you must leave.

    As soon as possible, link yourself in with a support network. Then try to not make emotional decisions. I lost so much in my last divorce because I couldn’t get out quick enough and in full-blown mania made stupid material and restraining decisions that still affect my life. I wished I had bounced those decisions off someone else. Hence I can’t suggest strongly enough, you need support, you need someone to hold your hand to stop the self explosive reprecussions that can easily spiral you into a very dangeruos place. We don’t want that for you. You deserve to be happy and treated as a valued human, with compassion, love and empathetic understanding to help heal.

    Sending love, hugs, and please, keep reaching out. PM if you need ok?

    💛💛 from Oz

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Stand and remember you are strong and resilient. Remember you must aleays choose to fight for yourself first, and know when to give up a fight for something else. Everyobe has the capacity to change, but if they are abusive that change will only take place when they realize their behavior has negative consequences. You can find resources to lean on, even if it means asking a lrofessional to find them. Trust those who believe in you. Much love on a horrid day. You can have the best life! Invest in yourself and never give in.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I left my toxic marriage after 17 years. I left with my truck, three boxes of personal belongings, my threefold{my three girls}, and a ton of trauma. We’ve definitely ridden the bipolar express for the past two years as we were healing from the abuse. It’s been hell, but I’m here to tell you it’s been worth every day we have suffered through. Even amongst the roughest waters we have survived, grown, bonded together & are still healing now. Therapy became my best decision. Goal setting and becoming more mindful helped me to fight for our future. My ex is a narcissist, but It’s difficult to coparent with him as he counterparents and manipulates. Get out, run, and though happiness nor the person you once were won’t be right outside the door waiting, you’ll begin to pick up the broken pieces that were left behind to create an unbreakable beautiful new you. Stay positive! I know how real the struggles are, but your bad ass for leaving-now stay gone! ☮️❤️😊~M

    Like

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