It’s 5:30 a.m. and I can’t sleep. The last 24 hours have been taking a toll on my sanity. For some reason Paul had to be put back in the ICU because he aspirated and now as long as they’re filling with liquid and he needs to be on put on a ventilator. Unfortunately for … More The Straw That Broke The Camel’s Back
Ready. Set. Sail! Hey gang. It’s Jess. Back again with another update. Looks like Paul my brother is doing better. He actually got a pneumonia infection and had to be put on a ventilator for a week but he’s finally out of the ICU and back in a hospital room. It’s good enough. His kidneys … More Fire In My Veins Again
Ready. Set. Sail! (The following is a half-hazard attempt to story tell and process all the things going on in my head…) Holy FUCK. Wow. What a year! This has got to be the absolute worst year of my life. Yep. That’s an understatement. Honestly, I don’t really even know where to start. I guess … More Abuse, Neglect, And Trauma
Ready. Set. Sail! So? So what? Nothing. That’s what. Nothing at all. I should be happy. Well good news, I finished my ECT treatments. And I feel better than ever. Really…average. Normal? I guess. No job unfortunately. I don’t remember if I mentioned that or not. I guess I just wasn’t good enough or … More Bored…
Ready. Set. Sail! So….I don’t know why I’m writing this. Or, as a matter of fact, who I’m writing this for. And you know what? That’s ok. Because I started my blog with the sole intention of documenting my experiences. I shouldn’t care if anyone is reading this. I shouldn’t care if NOBODY is reading … More Gotta Get This Off My Chest
I’m not happy. I haven’t been happy. This whole time I’ve been working toward a goal that isn’t mine. I feel lost. What I’m trying to say is that my whole career up until this point has been a lie. I don’t want to work in science at least not in medical research. That’s what … More Life Is Just A Stage…
Ready. Set. Sail! Hey everybody!! My Depression is gone. I’m in a special place between Mania and Depression. Like, trouble sleeping and energetic but still feel like murdering me and everyone else I know. Ever get that? I feel like I’m not the only one. But yeah been SUPER BUSY. I got a job!!! HOLY … More Jess is Getting Upset!
***********************************TRIGGER WARNING****************************** Jesus I had a long day yesterday. I don’t know guys I think I’m broken. I think it’s finally happened. Nothing. Empty. I’ve run out of steam. There is nothing left in me right now. I thought I was doing better. The mania started to creep in slowly. I thought “Yeah I … More Too Weak To End It
Ready. Set. Sail! Hello everyone. I think today is a good day to address some of those questions you all sent me. Unfortunately, I can’t find them…I do have one person’s question that was emailed to me that I will address now. If you guys want to send/resend me more questions I’ll be happy to … More Jess Melancholia Q&A Contest – RESULTS!!
Ready. Set. Sail! My God… I’ve been gone for a while now. I’ve been dealing with a deep dark depression and it’s been taking over everything in my psyche. I know that’s not an excuse. I know you’re mad at me. I’m truly very sorry. Please understand that I’m not about to just *poof* disappear … More “Jesus, Where Have You Been?!”